I Paid for Belonging in Bruises.

A lesson in growth, mindset, and the quiet clarity of mindfulness.

For most of my life, I paid the price of belonging in bruises—emotional, spiritual, and sometimes physical. I didn’t know I was chasing something I already had. I spent 30 years seeking insight out there in the world.

There were clues. My mom used to sing a lyric from Frankie Beverly & Maze:

“If you get confused, don’t you go nowhere else. You’re gonna find all that you need, right there in yourself.”

But like many of us, I missed the clue. I joined every “tribe” I could find and tried on every mask:
• Floridian
• Spanish
• Black
• Mixed
• Skateboarder
• Gangbanger
• Musician
• Drinker
• Angeleno
• Atheist
• Actor
• Buddhist
• Boyfriend (times 100)
• [Insert next persona here]

Funny thing — the word persona is Latin for “mask.”
And “clue”? That word traces back to clew, a Greek word for “thread.”

But I didn’t tug at the thread.
Until I was forced to sit still.

After an incident left me unable to walk, I couldn’t perform any of the roles. I couldn’t chase anything. I was stuck. Pinocchio in the belly of the whale.

That’s when I found meditation. That’s when I stopped searching outside and turned inward.

Suddenly, the masks began to loosen.
I started to notice the stories in my mind — how they looped and lied, how they controlled me.

And with that awareness … came space.

Space between me and shame.
Space between me and fear.
Space between me and who I thought I had to be.

That’s what mindfulness gave me:
The clarity to realize that insight was never “out there.” It was inside. Always had been.

Here’s a wild fact:
In a world where we can Zoom anyone, stream anything, and get same-day delivery…
Only 47% of Americans say they’re “very satisfied” with their personal lives.

Why?
Because satisfaction doesn’t come from optimization.
It comes from observation.
It comes from looking inward.

So I started sitting with my anger — and found fear underneath.
Then I sat with the fear — and found curiosity.
That curiosity changed everything.

Suddenly, the world wasn’t a threat.
It was a playground.
I wasn’t sinking — I was surfing.
I wasn’t lost — I was listening.

One day in the park, I heard that song again:

“You’re gonna find all that you need, right there in yourself.”

That lyric used to sound like comfort. Now it sounds like a mission.

Who am I now? I am peaceful.

So here’s the challenge I’ll leave with you:
You’re standing on the whale, fishing for minnows.
Your angers? Trace them back to fears.
Your fears? Trace them back to questions.
Then use those questions to start growing.

“There is grandeur in this view of life.” — Charles Darwin
“When we stop, things don’t go right.” — Pope Francis
“Each of us has that right, that possibility, to invent ourselves daily.” — Maya Angelou

This is Growth Mindset.
This is Mindfulness.
This is Growth Mindfulness.

This is you, tugging the thread.