I Was Wrong, and Mindfulness Helped Me See It

At 35 years old, here’s some stuff I’ve been wrong about:

• Spicy food ruins the taste

• 2Pac is still alive

• The guitar intro to Jimi Hendrix’s “Little Wing” says my name (I was 17, give me a break)

• My high school friends will be my best friends forever

• Science and spirituality don’t mix

• I’m not Black enough

• I’m not Spanish enough

• I can do everything all by myself

• Alcohol makes life easier

• No one loves me

• I am destined to be alone

But the biggest one?

Saying “I was wrong” will destroy me.

That it’ll embarrass me, undo all I’ve said in the past, making people think I know nothing. Then what will I have?

I’m not the only one.

Open your social media feed, check the comments.
The most popular threads? Fights.

Try this: every time you see “You’re right, I was wrong,” eat chocolate.
Eat the whole thing, might be a while until you find another.

Why?

Embarrassment is a deep bruise. Shame, a broken rib. Feeling both in front of a group of people? Thats a full body cast.

My podcast, “Beauty in the Break” , has an episode called How to Say “I Was Wrong” (And Why It Feels So Damn Good)

And. It. Does.

Here’s why:

Not admitting fault is rigid, ego-driven.
Most of the time everyone knows you’re wrong. They’re just too tired to call you out.
Saying “I’m always right” is Latin for “I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about, but I’m trying to convince myself I do, send help.”

Rigid is the oak tree that topples during hurricane season.

But saying “Ya know? I was wrong about that, I’m sorry” is the palm tree that sheds a frond, but stays rooted. Ready for the next season.

My favorite place to say I was wrong?
To my partner, Foster, and to our kids. As a child who didn’t hear anyone admit fault until I was 10 years old (love to my bonus father, Darron), I take pride in sitting with them, sharing what my intentions were, where I was wrong, and how I plan to make it right.

And here’s the deeper lesson I keep learning:
You are not your thoughts. Full Stop.

Through practicing mindfulness, I’ve discovered how to separate who I truly am from the stories my mind tells me. The stories of shame, fear, and rigid pride. Mindfulness gives me space to observe my thoughts without being overwhelmed, to choose softness over ego, and to admit when I’m wrong without falling apart. This simple, daily practice has been a lifeline for my mental health and emotional resilience. It’s proof that awareness can transform even the most painful moments into opportunities for connection and growth.

The takeaway? Find the person(s) who give you a safe space to practice being wrong. After that, take it into the world.

Then give yourself a piece of chocolate.

How Personal Growth Stories Inspire Us to Be Present & Mindful

My grandfather, Julio Cesar Cardona Sr., was a strong and introspective man…

who taught me lessons about resilience and mindfulness in everyday life. He was also hard on his children. By the time I came along, he was still stern. He left for work early, came home to his room, joined dinner only to speak when necessary, and then retreated upstairs (google “lessons from family trauma”).

At four years old, I was convinced he was in his room being a vampire. Then he had a stroke. Something shifted. He cracked jokes. He spent more time with family. He laughed occasionally and lingered longer at the table. His story reminds me every day of why being present and mindful matters.

It was after he passed that I decided to let my hair grow as a way to honor him. I miss our talks.

Life is so Precious

My mother is a charming, independent, brilliant woman…

who embodies personal growth stories and courage. She escaped an abusive home as a teenager and carved her own path, raising her siblings, buying a house, and building her own business. Her journey is one of the most inspiring family stories about resilience I’ve ever known. Years later her husband, my bonus father, faced a serious health scare. At the most frightening moment this do-it-herself woman told my sister “I don’t know what I would do without him.” That moment taught me about appreciating life’s fragility and about how to live fully every day.

Life is so Precious.

My biological father is a headstrong man and one of the most reliable hard workers I know…

who once managed a nightclub in Florida. One night a man was stabbed. My father held him, trying to stop the bleeding, but the man died in his arms. When he told me the next day his eyes carried a grief I had never seen before.

Life is so Precious.

So why do we wait to wake up?

Why does it take a stroke, a stabbing, or a sudden loss to feel alive and connected? Why do we need natural disasters or celebrity deaths to remind us to hug harder, laugh louder, and truly notice the little moments?

Traffic feels selfish until the ambulance siren wails and suddenly everyone cooperates to make room.

The next person who enters the room carries an entire lifetime of experiences. Can we pause and notice them? Not judge, fix, or compare. Just appreciate the miracle of their being and the beauty of life’s fragility.

We are all like that image above, an egg holding up books. Both delicate and strong at the same time.

Whether each moment cracks or holds steady, life is precious.

I Paid for Belonging in Bruises.

A lesson in growth, mindset, and the quiet clarity of mindfulness.

For most of my life, I paid the price of belonging in bruises—emotional, spiritual, and sometimes physical. I didn’t know I was chasing something I already had. I spent 30 years seeking insight out there in the world.

There were clues. My mom used to sing a lyric from Frankie Beverly & Maze:

“If you get confused, don’t you go nowhere else. You’re gonna find all that you need, right there in yourself.”

But like many of us, I missed the clue. I joined every “tribe” I could find and tried on every mask:
• Floridian
• Spanish
• Black
• Mixed
• Skateboarder
• Gangbanger
• Musician
• Drinker
• Angeleno
• Atheist
• Actor
• Buddhist
• Boyfriend (times 100)
• [Insert next persona here]

Funny thing — the word persona is Latin for “mask.”
And “clue”? That word traces back to clew, a Greek word for “thread.”

But I didn’t tug at the thread.
Until I was forced to sit still.

After an incident left me unable to walk, I couldn’t perform any of the roles. I couldn’t chase anything. I was stuck. Pinocchio in the belly of the whale.

That’s when I found meditation. That’s when I stopped searching outside and turned inward.

Suddenly, the masks began to loosen.
I started to notice the stories in my mind — how they looped and lied, how they controlled me.

And with that awareness … came space.

Space between me and shame.
Space between me and fear.
Space between me and who I thought I had to be.

That’s what mindfulness gave me:
The clarity to realize that insight was never “out there.” It was inside. Always had been.

Here’s a wild fact:
In a world where we can Zoom anyone, stream anything, and get same-day delivery…
Only 47% of Americans say they’re “very satisfied” with their personal lives.

Why?
Because satisfaction doesn’t come from optimization.
It comes from observation.
It comes from looking inward.

So I started sitting with my anger — and found fear underneath.
Then I sat with the fear — and found curiosity.
That curiosity changed everything.

Suddenly, the world wasn’t a threat.
It was a playground.
I wasn’t sinking — I was surfing.
I wasn’t lost — I was listening.

One day in the park, I heard that song again:

“You’re gonna find all that you need, right there in yourself.”

That lyric used to sound like comfort. Now it sounds like a mission.

Who am I now? I am peaceful.

So here’s the challenge I’ll leave with you:
You’re standing on the whale, fishing for minnows.
Your angers? Trace them back to fears.
Your fears? Trace them back to questions.
Then use those questions to start growing.

“There is grandeur in this view of life.” — Charles Darwin
“When we stop, things don’t go right.” — Pope Francis
“Each of us has that right, that possibility, to invent ourselves daily.” — Maya Angelou

This is Growth Mindset.
This is Mindfulness.
This is Growth Mindfulness.

This is you, tugging the thread.

Life Hack: Vulnerability

My eyes watered as I got in my car…

… then I exhaled.

I recently gave a talk on the topic of “Inclusion”. As a non-dualist, to me all things are ultimately one, even what seems opposite of each other, so I started by talking about “division”.

How?

With the picture above. Me, about 3 years old. Born to a Black, Floridian, Democrat Mother and a Spanish, New Yorker, Republican Father division lives within my DNA. In addition, I have no memory of them getting along.

For the first time, I stood in front of strangers and publicly told the story of never feeling like I fit in. Being told I “talk white” from my extended family on my Black side. Having my nose squeezed by a family member on my Spanish side because it was “too flat and round”. And then going into the world and being mocked because they didn’t know “what I was”. Except to the police, by the time I was a teen, I was just Black to them.

Somewhere during the talk my typical excitement of doing my job turned into feelings of somber. Seeing the audiences faces as I told story after story reminded me to hear it from the outside. To imagine how I’d feel if I heard a toddler was being treated like that.

My talk ends on inclusion being the breath of division. When we see our differences as a beautiful part of nature, division becomes dynamism.

After that, while talking with some of the attendees, a man walked up to me. He was tall, middle aged, and had a natural build that looked like he could flip a car if he wanted. Then, he shook my hand I noticed such kind and gentle eyes, he spoke lightly but with intention and thoughtfulness and said “I am so moved by your talk, this is one of the best talks I’ve ever heard.”

I had been standing there, raw in emotion, a bit insecure about if my talk was “okay”, only to be rocked with such a compliment. My goodness I was moved! But what really came in like a gust of wind was that my vulnerability showed and that was what resonated.

My story is tough, for sure. But if I told it through the lens of anger, or championing my past with my fists at my hips and chest out, or from a revolutionary “lets fight back” standpoint, it wouldn’t have landed. I affected someone because I was honest at how I was affected. In these very divisive times everyone is wanting to be in control, wanting to be strong, wanting to be right…I want to be real.

And you should too. You’ve known at least one person who held their struggles in and you probably saw what that did to them. Give yourself permission for vulnerability. If hurt people hurt people, then healed people heal people.

If that man ever reads this, thank you for taking 10 seconds of your life to change the entirety of my life. I was overwhelmed with honor, but maintained cordial conversations until I said goodbye to everyone. As I was walking in the parking lot, I was overcome with joy. My eyes watered as I got in my car… then I exhaled.

C.

Trump is President: Keep calm, but your hair is on fire.

The world won’t end, though it might suck for a while.

                  **Note: This article examines Trump’s effect from a POV that is:
                        • Fact-based

                        • Interested in the social collective

                        • Symbolic

                        • Reviews historic resilience

Donald J. Trump is our President….🤦🏽‍♂️

As a musician, I do not want to watch 4 years of the “walrus”, that double-fist-jerking motion dance he does anytime music is played. You know the one I’m talking about.

But really my dread is that as a public speaker, I understand the importance of language and its effect on people.  Words are the candlelight to the cave of our psyche, and this guy has historically poured gasoline all over the cave walls. He’s called women ‘pigs’, ‘ugly’, diminishes them by his opinion of their looks, and at least 84 other things. He’s generalized Mexicans coming across the border as ‘murderers’ and ‘rapists’. He managed to deliver a two-fer by telling John R. O’Donnell, the former president of Trump Plaza Hotel & Casino  “I have black guys counting my money… I hate it…. The only guys I want counting my money are short guys that wear yarmulkes all day.”  And that “Laziness is a trait in blacks. It really is, I believe that”. Not to mention always attacking anyone who disagrees with him, instead of realizing he could be wrong, or that people see life differently. 

But what is most effectively poisonous to our society is his inherit Trickster Archetypal style of talk, a framework where he speaks broadly or in absolutes, and then negatively, which leaves room for interpretation… so:

1. His supporters fill in the blanks with their distrust for people not like them (some call that hate, I call it fear-based assumptions).

2. His opponents lose their shit because of what it insinuates.

3. Then he can back out anytime and say, “I didn’t say that”.

4. Leaving us divided. 

This trick is OLD. Over a thousand years ago the Yoruba culture in Africa told the story of “Eshu”, who walked between two villages with a hat painted blue on one side and red on the other. Later that night two men from each village brought up the man and started to fight over the color of the hat. The fight spread to their respective villages. After a while, Eshu was found and he showed them his hat stating, “Spreading strife is my greatest joy”. 

I’m always blown away by how many times I see myths recreated in life. The “Trickster” archetype is a figure that usually makes us question and often shift the choices that we took for granted. (Look at how many Republicans supported Kamala, like Dick Chaney. Darth Vader himself got up from his Haliburton funded lair which probably had someone tied up to some train tracks and voted for her.) 

It’s also an umbrella title with many sub characters under, such as “The Jester,” “The Comedian”, “The “Clown”. Considering Trump paints his face in bronzer, and colors his hair red, it’s not a stretch to guess where he lands. Take this info as you please, but know this is part of a long story in human history, from Hermes in Greek history to Sacha Baron Cohen. So, Trump may be a blip, but how do we limit the damage of his time in office since that blip is important to our lives in the here and now?
            This is where the beauty of Democracy comes in because the more I learn about the self-righting mechanism of America, the more I realize we are bound for more and more resilience, thus transcendent evolution. We have 3 branches of government comprised of over 500 disagreeing politicians, so we don’t make stupid decisions quickly, so we will have more time to intervene. Of course there are downsides to this (like everything), but here I’m shining a light on the power that will still rest in us: the People. And considering the record number of new registrants and early voter turnout, it’s safe to say we understand that WE have the ability to limit the damage done by this man and his supporters. Consider the following options: 

• Start getting interested in your local laws and representatives. A simple call to your elected official can bring much change. Also, you can download a PDF of ANY law brought to the floor or passed, upload it into ChatGPT and ask it to summarize it in simple English for you.  

• VOTE with your money. Small businesses and companies that support your beliefs. I use this site to find companies that care for their employees in pay, health and equality, make sure their shareholders have good intentions, and are working towards cleaning the environment 

• Download the app “Goods Unite Us” for a list of the companies and which party their dollars go to.

• Let go of your cynicism. It’s boring and it’s limiting you. Click this link here to all the amazing progress we have in the world today, sourced and data given. Let this inform your thoughts and actions. 

• Share this article with the data and your findings with others. We REALLY can do this together.

This is going to be a long 4 years; you know it and I know it. But a silver lining from this crazy divisive man is that we got to see a woman stand up to him, maintain her integrity and bring people together that otherwise wouldn’t have. If each of us can personify that in our daily life, then she was only the beginning.

That is how you make America great.